Instead of another article on New Year’s resolutions, let’s talk about self care: how moms like us stay clear on our values and take good care of ourselves and our families.
If you are like me, you may ‘know’ that you should take good care of yourself. But what if taking care of yourself was about small changes and a better way of looking at things?
I’ve been thinking critically about self care issues for a long time and I’ve found that the best way to create change that sticks is to work the bugs out in advance. And if you’re in a rut, narrow things down to just one thing at a time.
Get clear on what you want and what you don’t want. In life. At home. While you are with your children. What will feel good and what will feel bad?
Otherwise you won’t like your life. Or yourself. Or the thoughts in your head. Self care means making time for that clarity process.
I don’t like when I hear myself saying “I’ve got soooo much to do” or “We’re so busy”. As if we don’t have a choice. Of course we are busy. But where did we learn to be so busy? I’ve gotten much better at “pre-tiring”. If you haven’t Pre-Tired it’s something I have been working on since my now teens were small. That’s when I became a Mompreneur. Not to date myself, but there were no words like pre-tirement twelve years ago. No Facebook, Twitter, or Skype. But I digress. Just check out Pretirement when you get a moment.
Back to liking yourself and your life (rather than worrying if others will like you) as part of self care. To be and live as a mom that I personally like and am proud of, I am less interested in ‘doing it all’ and more interested in doing what’s right for me, my children and my family. Right meaning that it feels right. That needs to come clear in your clarity process.
In my profession, change and purpose are important themes. But after years of thinking big leaps were needed, my vision isn’t that momentous. But it’s momentous and meaningful for me: Being present for things that make memories, being reliable and trustworthy, having frequent walks in the woods and time for yoga, and being a good listener. I was lucky to grow up like that, where day-to-day connection and quality were consistent, and regular time spent together was common. So I have my map. But there are many skills I had to learn and am still trying improve on, just like the majority of us.