Stay Calm and Carry On: How to Eliminate Defeating Behaviours

Sometimes we all just need to Stay Calm and Carry On because we typically do the best we can for where we are. So the more you can take full responsibility for your life, choose zero tolerance for negativity and gossip, and practice lots of forgiveness and acceptance, the more you’ll be able to stay calm and move forward. Which doesn’t mean no boundaries. Be discerning and and say no as necessary.

How to Stay Calm

Make time to get clear. Stay calm and eliminate defeating behaviours with these easy rules:

1) Choices. We have choices.We can’t control everything but we do have choices.

2) No. Get better at saying it. Be appreciative of invitations and offers to be involved, but you often ditch what is meaningful to you in favor of the needs of others. The clearer you are on what your ideal day, week, evening and weekend looks, the clearer you will be on what you should say no.

3) Stay clear on your values. The clearer you are on what you want your life to look like, the more effortless it will be to create it. Hence the clarity process you must make time for.

4) Model for your kids how to stay calm. Stop and listen. You are role modelling life for your children. It is neither inspiring or educational to be stressed, cranky and too busy.

5) Be Solution-Focused. Find solutions rather than regret sub-par behaviour. Regret, shame and worry do nothing.

6) List out your needs. Get clear on the support you need to stay calm. Then ask for help. Sometimes people don’t see all you do because you are so competent at it. Ask, ask, ask, Be courteous. Don’t wait till you’re so overdone that you’re screaming at everybody. Pre-think these things so you can be more supported.

7) Change your attitude. “I have to drive my kids to soccer. I have to make dinner. I have to, I have to, I have to”. I am not saying that you don’t have to, but how is the quality of your life when you are mentally complaining about the things that repeatedly make up your day? Acceptance makes anything easier. I am so lucky to make a difference in their lives. Making dinner is a privilege and I’m happy to serve my family healthy food.

Yes you do a lot, but watch your attitude becoming all:

“I do everything for everyone.” You are resourceful. You don’t have to put everything in front of your own needs. We choose to put everything in front of our own needs. We put self-care at the bottom of our list. We choose to put exercise behind all our other priorities, etc.

You will be surprised how nothing needs to change for you to stay calm. And that is a powerful choice you can start to make today. But maybe you need some support to re-think these things which is also a powerful choice. Maybe a coach, a therapist, A.A., and a community of like-minded people where you feel like you belong. If something is missing, find it! Start looking today. Ask questions.

But do find time for yourself because there is a finite amount of time in each day and your creativity and patience grows when you make regular time for yourself.

Good luck.